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Student Mum Joanne shares the ups and downs of being a Single Mum with Mums Baby Magazine.
Joanne is twenty four years of age and a Mum to a beautiful four year old daughter Amber. Joanne has been a single parent for two years now and has mastered the fine art of juggling University with Motherhood! Joanne kindly offered to share her experience of being a Single Mother with Mums Baby Magazine.
Being a Single Mum has its positive elements as Joanne explains:
“At times i love it, I love being able to get up when I want to, and not have to put my makeup on or get dressed until at least dinner time (on my days off University). I also love having my evenings to myself to workout to my exercise DVD’s or socialise with friends.
I love having my daughter all to myself when I’m at home with her and if she wants a cuddle she only comes to me.”
Being a parent isn’t always easy especially when there is only one of you, Joanne tells Mums Baby Magazine about some of the less appealing aspects of Single parenting.
“It can get incredibly lonely at times and I miss the adult conversation as well as the cuddles and support that a partner could give. Disciplining my daughter is also difficult as I have nobody who can back me up or take over when I am getting tired and stressed.”
One of the main concerns for any parent is finance. How does a single parent cope?
“Mo
ney is of tight though as I am a student. I started University when I was still with my little girls Father and at the time believed that I would have his income to help support us as a family so I could study to further my career aspects. Sadly, half way into my first year at University we separated. I am not a quitter and was determined to continue with my studies. 
I would love to be able to provide for my daughter more than I currently am able to but whilst I am required between five to seven days at University this isn’t possible. The course I study involves horse care and so often work weekends to care for the horses. Finding a part time job isn’t really an option due to time restrictions so we are currently managing on money from my student loan. I know it will be worth it in the end as it is an Equine Sports Science Degree so hopefully will enable me to get a good, secure job at the end of it all and then my daughter will want for nothing.”
Having considered your current lifestyle as a single parent how would you describe your feelings upon the situation?
“Although my little girls Father is still a big part of her life and has her twice a week. Being a single Mother is rewarding and I feel more proud of myself being able to say that I have looked after her, put her to bed and entertained her by myself, and the person she is becoming is largely based on what I have instilled in her.”
Mums Baby Magazine would like to thank Joanne for her time and for sharing her experience with the magazine.
DIY Parenting: MBM speaks to Lesley Lewis, single Mum of two.
Lesley Lewis is Mum to Kai (born 8th February 2005) and Bailey (born 21st August 2007). Lesley spent some time with MBM sharing the positive aspects of being a single Mum.
“Being a single Mum means that you get all the love from your children as you don’t have to share them with anybody else!” says Lesley Lewis. “You can stick to your own routines and make your own decisions upon the upbringing and raising of your children”.
Lesley with son Bailey
Being a single Mum can be difficult, it is essential that you make routines and stick to them as there is no backup other than family and friends. However, when your children start to develop and learn you are the sole educator and parental figure. “You can feel proud that everything they learn only you taught them. Your children are proud and look up to just you” explains Lesley.
Being a single Mum may seem a lonely concept. However, Lesley explains that single motherhood actually brings you closer together as a family. “Your children get your undivided attention as you don’t have a partner, sometimes your children can become your closest friends”.
Lesley with son Kai
Depending upon the setup of the family, if children go to their Dads during certain days of the week or at weekends then this enables the Mum to have time to herself and catch up on the jobs which are to be done around the house.
Although being a single Mum can be a positive experience (if you make it one!) there are certain aspects which must not be forgotten.
Lesley told MBM “It can be lonely, being a single Mum makes having a social life difficult. You don’t get much help when you a single Mum and it is difficult with just one income”.
“Being a single Mum is a challenging job and it can be especially difficult when coping with more than one child. Things like ‘fun days out’ can seem like chores and often it is hard to give each child the individual attention that they deserve as there is only one of me. I feel as if society looks down upon single Mothers, they don’t realise just how much work we actually do!”.
When asked what her ‘Top Tips for Coping as a Single Mum’ would be Lesley said the following:
- Take time to enjoy each of your children. Spend one to one time with each of your children everyday.
- Avoid arguing with your ex partner/ their Father in front of your children
- Be proud to be doing it alone.
- Make time for yourself even if its only half an hour when the children are in bed
- Don’t listen to other Mothers who think that they know best, raise your children your own way.
- Try and get into a good routine that suits you. It will help in the long run!
- Make sure you take any help offered and claim everything that you are entitled to.
- Avoid competing with the child’s Father in any way.
- Take your time in doing things, a stressed mum is no good for anyone!
MBM would like to thank Lesley for her time and remind their readers that HAPPY MUM= HAPPY BABY!
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